What It Means to Be A “Menstruator”
Disconnecting gender identity and menstruation
Inspired by the Period Futures interview with Siufung Law, a genderqueer advocate, public speaker and professional bodybuilder from Hong Kong
One of the most important evolutions we’ve seen in the past few decades is how society understands gender — from a binary to a fully encompassing ‘gender spectrum’ or ‘gender continuum.’ Due to patriarchal systems, we have historically considered gender in binary terms- male and female. The specific gender norms are rooted in cultural behaviors we expect from men and women. Colonization is partly to blame for this, as gender restrictions were historically used by colonizers to control populations.
There is a big difference between sex and gender. Sex refers to one’s biological body parts such as their genitals, whereas gender is developed through a “set of expectations from society, about behaviors, characteristics, and thoughts.” Due to societal influences, gender is much more complex and multi-dimensional. People choose multiple, none, or to toggle in between various gender identities. Throughout history, many cultures around the world recognize gender identities outside of the binary — such as the Navajo’s ‘two-spirit’ individuals and the South Asian Hijra people. Gender fluidity has quietly existed for centuries. But today, activists like Siufung Law show that their presence and work is further softening and ultimately changing our impressions towards gender fluidity and going beyond the concepts of ‘woman’ and ‘man.’
Siufung (they/them/she/her) grew up in Hong Kong with an insurmountable amount of confusion and pressure surrounding their gender identity. They felt compelled to decide between the two genders that society had already predetermined for them, leaving them in a state of isolation. They felt like the only person who was different, out of place, and “weird.”
Siufung was born a female, so being a woman was the societal expectation they faced. But nothing about their choice was easy.
“During my high school years, I found out that I was attracted to women. I was assigned a female at birth. I identified as a lesbian. I didn’t feel like I fit in until it was in my university years that I started to learn about gender studies and different sexualities. I recognized and identified as a transgender man.”
The male/female binary design of the world discredits those who fall outside or in between the lines, ostracizes them, and causes them great anguish. Those who don’t identify within one of the two gender binaries are left to figure everything out on their own, including puberty and menstruation. Siufung felt masculine but “liked girls.” Their gender journey went from lesbian to transgender man to gender fluid. Meanwhile, living in a body with XX chromosomes meant that eventually Siufung would experience menstruation — a part of puberty and life that society often exclusively assigns to female-bodied persons. For those who subscribe to societal norms, menstruation already comes with many hurdles and difficulties like pain, mood swings, and body changes. In addition to being different in their gender expression, Siufung’s menstrual experience started late and irregularly. As a masculine presenting individual, Siufung navigated not only the typical challenges of menstruation, but also how to manage menstruation in the men’s bathroom.
“I already knew that in terms of menstruation, I was not the same as many kids in my school. My first menstruation was much later than all of my classmates. Doctors were saying that it might be because I was under a lot of stress at that time. I came from an educated family who had high expectations of me in terms of academic achievement. At the same time I was struggling with my sexual orientation and gender identity.”
Siufung’s experience in discovering and accepting their gender identity was nonlinear. The narrative about people just knowing their gender or easily ‘deciding’, as it is normalized on TV and in most books, is incorrect. At first, Siufung struggled and through their highschool years they started to believe that they’re a lesbian. However, university life brought on a whole other wave of freedom of expression. First, they got involved in a lot of sports — like running and dragon boating — making them appear more muscular and masculine. Second, they had the opportunity to take courses focused on gender studies. Siufung started to identify as a transgender man. By graduation, Siufung had become even more muscular through bodybuilding, solidifying their belief in a transgender identity. Finally, later meeting a genderfluid person online for postgraduate studies brought Siufung full circle to the realization that their gender identity can’t actually fit in one box, but is fluid. They didn’t want to be known and recognized as a man all the time but wanted to be a woman with more masculine representation and to move between different modalities of gender representation.
“It was until I began my postgraduate studies at the university where I did transgender studies. Because of my research, I got in touch with other transgender people. At a rare coincidence, I get to learn to know someone who identified as gender fluid. They were the first person I did not know whether or not had previously assigned gender at birth. It triggered my interest in learning more about gender-fluidity.”
Society predetermines many of our decisions, but we always have a choice and a responsibility to create balance and equity. There are paths we can take to make menstruation, an experience that spans gender identities and body types, inclusive. An effective place to start is unlearning that menstruation is for women and changing the narratives displayed in the media and continuously repeated by our leaders, politicians, schools, and employers. It is commonplace for many communities around the world to either avoid talking about menstruation or use gender-exclusive language, from ‘a visit from aunt flo’ to attributing any small annoyance or lack of cheerfulness women show to ‘that time of the month.’ In fact, the experience of having a period is so hyper-feminized that when men show ‘too much’ they’re ridiculed for ‘PMSing like a woman.’ This type of talk happens on important, public stages as well, of note being the infamous Donald Trump quote, “There was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” But menstruation happens to people in many different bodies. In many period-related discussions, Trans individuals are completely alienated because of the idea that “bleeding is only for women.” Trans-men bleed too and need to be able to have important conversations about their bodies without feeling dysphoria. Inversely, Trans-women do not bleed but should still be seen as women and have options to experience some form of menstruation. For example, there are menstruation kits that transgender women can use that mimic the experience of menstrual bleeding. An effective tool in changing narratives to be more inclusive is the media — a big part of Siufung’s efforts.
“One of the important things I have been doing a lot is media representation to increase visibility. It could be something that transgender and genderfluid people could use to have a voice and to have their stories told. I imagine if I was younger and had more role models or representations in either newspapers or on TV shows and films, it would benefit me much more in my search for my gender identity.”
In addition to changing how we speak about those who menstruate, bathrooms and hygienic products must be inclusive and/or gender-neutral. Right now periods are awash pink, purple, and lavender with floral tones and aromas. This is exclusionary and a problem. From pretty flower-adorned packaging to cycle trackers focused on hyper-female symptoms and conditions, all things period-related are dominated by feminine imagery and language. It is rare to find products that are advertised without imaging and wording meant to coax women into a purchase. Moreover, no menstruation products are created in inconspicuous packaging that does make noise or attract attention when being used. People who menstruate present a variety of genders and identities. The fact that menstruation is gendered can be a source of feelings of exclusion, discomfort, and shame for those who do not identify as women or feminine. Regardless of gender identity, every menstruating person needs to have easy access to hygienic menstrual products that don’t make them feel shame, dysphoria, and rejection. Limiting the marketing of these products to feminine themes alienates a significant number of menstruators. Additionally, when bathrooms are gendered, people who fall outside of the gender binary are often placed under a lot of pressure to find the “correct” bathroom that matches their identity.
Siufung’s experience as a masculine-presenting, gender-fluid individual with these products is a perfect example, since the way that the men’s room is designed is not helpful in addressing their needs.
“I only use the men’s room when I do sports. When I have menstruation, it causes a lot of problems. Of course, I use cubicles, but one of the problems is that in the men’s washroom they never have a rubbish bin. That is a major problem for me because I have to wrap my used pads with lots of tissue paper and sneak out to see if everyone is outside the bathroom so I can throw it in the rubbish bin next to the [handwashing] base. There is also this psychological pressure. For instance, when I am in the men’s cubicle, I would be very aware of myself, doing all this wrapping up and hearing all these plastic sounds from the pads. Maybe someone is listening to me doing all this abnormal stuff. I mean those are more psychological impacts of having to menstruate with my identity, and I think it’s similar to all the transgender men who menstruate.”
“When I menstruate I [often use] the disabled washroom too. Unfortunately, in the last one or two years, I realized that going to a disabled washroom out in public is getting harder and harder. Many disabled washrooms are being locked out. You have to call for security to get into a disabled washroom which technically I won’t do because then there would be people who would ask me what kind of disability I have. They might not be convinced in a sense, or even it might be risking exposing my gender identity.”
The menstruation space has a dearth of diversity in the viewpoints represented. The focus is on hyper feminine experiences, products, and transitions. It is time to expand our minds and finally listen to all those who menstruate.
“When I started bodybuilding, I was struggling and going on stage as a competitor because I was legally female. I had to compete as a woman, and competing in a bodybuilding show means that you have to wear a bikini on stage. I’ve always seen myself as more of masculine kind of person and when I was struggling between my transgender identity and the probability of a gender-fluid identity. Hence, I went on stage wearing a bikini in the very beginning and that changed my life in the end. Because of that experience on stage, I realized that I’m not interested in presenting as a guy. I would not prefer to present as a guy twenty-four-seven. I realized that in some circumstances, I am happy to be seen as a woman and as a female athlete. It is important to be seen as a female athlete sometimes. In the bodybuilding industry especially, the more muscular person tends to be seen as either a lesbian or a trans person or that they’re a woman wanting to be a man. This is a very common misconception about muscular women. Currently, in the bodybuilding field, all these very muscular women want to compensate for their muscularity by highlighting their femininity. I want to show that no, it’s okay to be a muscular woman, and gender expression doesn’t mean that person wants to be a man.. That’s my message.”
I want to tell people that how we express our gender identities is very diverse and how we present ourselves. We shouldn’t limit ourselves because of all these very binary boxes. Who says that women can’t have muscles? Who says that when women want to have muscles, they are people who want to be men? If they have muscles, they embody a more masculine identity. You see, what’s wrong with that?”
Written by Lilly Khorsand, Writer at Period Futures
Learn more about Siufung and support their work here.
